Rozhovor

01.03.2017, Instinkt č. 10/2017, autor: Lenka Nejezchlebová

Anna K.:
Z temného tunelu do oslnivé záře

Těžkého dostala od života naloženo vrchovatě. Překonala pokročilou rakovinu a umírání svých nejbližších. Do nového roku však vykročila podle významu svého občanského jména Luciana. Světlá. Zářící. S novým albem, novým turné a novou nadějí, že hořké časy jsou konečně pryč. 

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?Memories and Hopes: The Top Essays
From the even more than 200 college software essays that students sent us this yr, these - about an artist father, an affluent suburb, frugality as well as a family with no college graduates - ended up the ones we liked easiest. MAY 13, 2016 Related Article
Sarah Benson with her father, Jonathan Benson, in her father’s woodworking shop at their home in Lorton, Va. Credit T.J. Kirkpatrick with the New York Times
Higher School: South County Superior School College Plans: Virginia Tech
My father takes me down to the arroyo when I am so very small that I do not yet arrive at his waist. My feet fumble across flaking desert skin and he pulls me along gently by my hand and tells me to be careful of very small cacti and therefore the bones of dead jack rabbits. He does not let me straddle the rift where the earth divides into repelling mounds of sand. Instead, he slips his hands beneath my arms and swings me about inside a 50 percent circle, his red face wrinkling into a smile.
That morning, my father had crept into my room with the sun and shaken me into consciousness. “Get your sneakers,” he had whispered. “We’re going with a treasure hunt.”
It is minutes later now and we are trudging down an overgrown trail, tactfully descending the deep slopes of New Mexican land. Everything smells strongly of mud and salt and soaked manure from the horse barn down the road. I almost trip over a weed, but my father steadies me and says, “Almost there, baby.”
The arroyo is different than I have ever seen it. It is scattered with extended, silver puddles. With the pink glow with the rising sun, the sand looks shiny and slippery. Approximately us, green tufts of vegetation burst from the earth in unpredictable patterns and yellow wildflowers with thin stems knock softly against each individual other while in the wind.
My father tells me to wait and he steps down into the wet sand. I watch as his sandals sink deep into the ground and leave extensive footsteps. He crouches suddenly, and digs into the earth using a discarded stick. Then he stands, approaches me, and places in my hand something slimy and smooth.
“A pottery shard,” he says, in explanation. “From the Indigenous Americans, who lived right listed here a thousand years ago. The rain washes them up. If we’re lucky, we’ll come across all the pieces of an entire pot.”
I take a look down in the strange triangular stone and wipe the sand from its surface. He lifts me up in his arms, carries me back again toward the house.
My father gives me a book about Georgia O’Keeffe for my fifth birthday. We read through it together and he bounces me on his knee and licks his fingertips before turning the web pages. He points in a landscape that looks like a rumpled tablecloth and tells me, “This is why we’re in this article.” I steal a flashlight and flip through the book beneath my covers at night. I touch the same glossy picture and whisper, “This is why we’re in this article.”
When I am 6 years old, the Sunday school teacher asks me what my father does for a living. I tell her he is undoubtedly an artist like Georgia O’Keeffe. I do not know that I am lying. I do not know that he hasn’t sold a piece in months. I do not know that my mother sits with the kitchen table after I go to sleep and cries seeing that the mortgage is past due and she can’t figure out a way to tell me that this yr, Santa Claus just may very well not enable it to be.
For Christmas, my father gives me a sparkling blue stone he found inside arroyo. I say thank you and pretend I mean it. Later, I stand over the edge of our brick patio and wind up my arm and throw the rock as far as it will go. It disappears inside the bristles of the pine tree.
I do not say goodbye to the arroyo before shutting the car door and stretching the seatbelt across my chest. I do not say goodbye as I think that I won’t miss it. We are leaving New Mexico. We are going to New York where my father will get a real job and we will become a real family. We drive alongside a cliff, the rock rough and jagged and sprinkled along with a thousand tiny diamonds. I push my finger against the glass. This is why we’re in this article.
When I am 16 years old, my father takes me back again to New Mexico and we go once further to the arroyo. The neglected trail is extended gone now and we stumble in our tennis shoes over dried up cacti and colorless desert flowers. I am too old now to hold my father’s hand. He walks two or three steps ahead of me and I do not see his face.
The arroyo is bone-dry, littered with dented soda cans, beaten strips of tire and mud-stained garbage bags. A variety of monsoon seasons have left the sides on the arroyo tall and smooth, except for your dried roots of long-dead plants, however lodged inside of the dirt, which access out toward us like skeleton hands.
My father crouches over and his shirt draws taut across his again. He delicately parts the earth with his fingers and searches for something that he will never obtain again.
“No way more pottery,” he says. He looks at me and squints his eyes against the sun. “It must have washed far absent by now.”
Suddenly comes to me the vague image of my father in ripped jeans, pressing a pottery shard into my palm.
I wonder if he, too, has washed far absent.
Isabella DeSimone on campus at Suffield Academy in Suffield, Conn. Credit Jessica Hill to the New York Times
Significant School: Suffield Academy College Plans: New York University
My very small body and head of curly hair trotted over to the refrigerator in search of some butter for my bread. I shifted some cans of half-opened Goya beans and also the remnant of the brick of dulce de leche that had seen a lot better days. After a lot shuffling, I spotted the big brown container of margarine. Carefully placing the tub within the kitchen table and readying for my “feast,” I opened the container. To my dismay, it was filled with arroz con pollo. My eyes tightened and my stomach made Chewbacca noises. Maybe I could mash the dulce de leche on top for the bread.
My finding was not a surprise. Rather it was lesson variety 73 engraved in the book of Dominican-bred frugality. Why buy 99 cent storage containers if the products we buy by now offer you them for costless? These lessons came in Spanish with the speed of the bull in a very bullring. It is known as a struggle for immigrant parents to successfully pass on values of frugality to their children even though living inside a developed country which includes a perceived flow of plenty. But my mother’s iron will was the perfect match for those incongruences.
For a child, things like magic, fairy tales, and 100 % free MacBook features allow it to be difficult to grasp the value of money and to quantify the struggles that some families face to make ends meet. The collective hope is the fact that through hard function as well as a miracle, an individual ends up figuring out how to make 5 dollars out of 5 cents.
This fervor to be frugal and purposeful is something that was passed down to me considerably like some families pass down an obsession with monogramming or Thanksgiving Working day traditions. My trailblazing family’s thrifty efforts have been legendary in our neighborhood. We started reusing and repurposing way before it was trendy. We made do with what we had and made what we had do a bit more in order to awkwardly swim toward the Dominican American dream.
Frugality could be a game, or at least we made it into an individual. A game of who can save quite possibly the most money by turning off lights, keeping the heater off and going to the library in the event the apartment got too hot. A game of who could make a skirt out of the short dress or track down a scholarship for swimming lessons in the Y.M.C.A. The act of conserving money, the audacity to solve problems no just one has thought of before is what established my family apart. Together we share our victories in a very minor tribe of four Amazon warriors partaking in our unique version in the exhibit, Survivor: NYC edition.
The phrase “making do” could evoke connotations of stagnation and despair for some; but for me it is about understanding my situation and being proactive. The values I gained from being able to make do are unparalleled. Making do gifted me with resiliency and gratitude. Making do allowed me to internalize acceptance and to value effort.
Lesson 978 took put last winter. I woke up at home with numb toes. The temperature inside the house was evidently no different from outdoors. I questioned my seemingly crazy mother to which she replied, “Come cuddle with me.” With closer inspection, I found my two sisters beneath the covers. The average family can spend up to $1,000 on heating their apartment, but my home is now comforting in its possess way. A very small bed with too the majority of people in it, arms and legs perfectly intertwined. It doesn’t get more desirable than that with a cold morning.
The laughs we exchange keep me warm, my grandmother’s advice, sigue adelante, or keeping moving forward, resonates with me, the arroz con pollo from the butter container satisfies me and our love for every other fuels me with drive to excel. We make do everyday and through our doing and making I know in my heart, the most desirable is yet to come.
Joe Liggio relating to the working track behind Suffern Middle School in Suffern, N.Y. Credit Bryan Anselm with the New York Times
Big School: Suffern Superior School College Plans: Manhattan College
The thought of achieving any sort of higher education has often been an overlooked, or just plain disregarded idea in my family for generations. I’ve come from the longer line of ancestors that labored throughout life to make ends meet, often leaving school early to take up a job and service a struggling family. Only just one of my grandparents even attended superior school, let alone graduated. Both equally of my parents made it through, albeit barely passing, yet went straight to operate, abandoning any idea of studying further due to poor finances, poor academics and also a generally poor attitude to the sort of idea.
But I knew early on in life that they expected further of me, that I was supposed to serve as being the outlier to the norm in my family and conclusion the lengthy line of subpar students, that I would be the just one to further my education, and go on to do something a little more meaningful with my life.
The thought scared the hell out of me. And to be honest, it continue to does.
Basically because the thing is, I never know where I choose to go from right here. All my life I’ve never been able to give a response to that oft-asked question, “So Joe, what do you would like to be when you’re grown up?” Had my grandparents been confronted with that same query, they couldn’t have answered simply as they had no choice on the matter. A Marvelous Depression, a family of seven or a draft recognize from the Army have been among a number of the further pressing issues at hand. They couldn’t answer as they had no other possibilities. I can’t answer mainly because I have too the majority of.
Yet I just want to answer that question. And I guess that’s part from the reason I’m creating this essay. I’ve accepted the fact that, right now, I simply never know who I’m going to be, which it is going to take some time before I can finally glance all over and think to myself, “I prefer to spend my life doing this.” But I’ve come to realize that college can serve given that the catalyst that gets me there, the area where I can begin to learn and see the world on my possess terms, and take advantage within the choices I’ve been blessed with the ability to make, in the event the same couldn’t be claimed about the generations that came before me. I know that with the freedom to study what I have to learn, I can pursue a career born, not out of necessity, but out of choice. I’ve been given the opportunity to change not just myself, but the attitude that my individual family will have toward higher education, as well as the doors that it can open in their possess lives.
Nevertheless, the thought of being the number one in my family to attend college remains daunting. At times, I believe tasked along with a responsibility of near-prophetic proportions, as if I’m The An individual to finally bring about an close to the decades-old struggle of “a lineage gone unlearned.” I’ve come to accept it as a challenge. In addition to the far more I think about it, the greater I see it as something gratifying. It is taken years of demo, but I will emerge given that the outlier for my family. I will finally finish the cycle for us.
The fear remains, but I’ve come to realize that the pride outweighs.
Erica Meister describes her hometown, Northville, Mich. as reckless. Credit Laura McDermott for your New York Times
Excessive School: Northville Great School College Plans: Stanford University
In 2015, Northville, the area I consider to be my hometown, was named the snobbiest city in Michigan. I prefer to describe Northville as reckless.
The much more enterprising students of Northville Huge School specialize while in the selling of three goods: marijuana, Adderall and take a look at answers, all goods a multitude of of my peers never think twice about utilizing. We’re from Northville. Most of us know nothing of consequences or responsibility for our steps, considering that our fathers can cover for us with cash and connections. We’ve been raised in these types of privilege that we feel really enabled to say and do whatever we want, thoughtlessly.
Several years again, if the rap aesthetic was particularly prominent, most in the males came to school in ill-fitting jeans that sagged below their designer boxers, sporting T-shirts and necklaces that in all likelihood price tag greater than the weekly income to the average person, in imitation of their favorite rapper. They carried themselves like Eminem and spewed out Jay Z verses about being raised in extreme urban poverty and racism, before parroting their parents’ views relating to the “communist” welfare programs.
Derogatory terms for gays, the disabled and people of color are shouted inside the hallway, right over the heads of people to whom those refer. From have, I can certify that the administration does small besides halfheartedly admonish reported bullies and send them on their own way to carry on their reign of terror.
To my chagrin, I have occasionally fallen into a similar mindset. I once asked a friend, whose family I knew was struggling, what AP tests she planned to take. She replied that her family couldn’t afford any. I had forgotten how bad her circumstances had been and had asked my question without thinking. I found myself victim to the disease that infiltrates Northville, the same carelessness I despise. Northville’s gilded bubble caused me to forget that some do not have the luxury of affording even the reduced price of standardized tests.
Aside from being potentially harmful, this recklessness creates a feeling of emptiness for me. Superficial, materialistic and shallow, we’re all too busy going on to the next thing, focusing on gaining an A and not about learning the material, and becoming our rib into a conversation without listening to what was actually reported. Our sole aim is to keep moving. Where, how and at what expenditure are irrelevant questions to us, and thus we manage to remove all trace of purpose from our steps.
My most prominent goal has always been to leave Northville behind, to acquire a world in which people act consciously, aware that their steps affect others, and choose to delve deeper by asking questions and seeking legitimate answers that may differ from their constrained understanding. While in the meantime, I aspire to prepare myself by being increased thoughtful, informed and, most of all, careful.
Much more on NYTimes.com
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